WEDNESDAY

MISYELkules vol.01: A Change of Heart

{MISYELkules is a series of blog posts I make on Wednesdays.  In this collection, you will get to know me (whether u like it or not lol). I will express the things I love and despise, my passions, stands, opinions, and even short stories that will give you an insight to who I am as a person. I will share fragments of myself and hopefully, you can see the bigger picture for yourself. Because who can articulate their existence in just one sitting, right? Hope you enjoy this series as much as I do in making it!}

I devoted my entire high school years to writing. I was the journalism cray-cray gal. I loved and enjoyed making various articles, newsletters for class, and even poems for literary contests. This passion intensified even more in senior year. I was then appointed as the Assistant Editor-in-Chief of the school paper’s official staff. It was nerve wracking if I’m going to be honest. Even though I had a pretty decent accumulation of experience since grade school, it was finally the real thing. My senior year was the busiest I got in high school (thanks to my English Journalism class) – covering events and researching for topics to make interesting articles for the school paper, making scripts and rehearsing as much as possible for radio broadcasting, always having to be updated on national issues to make editorials, actually being on presscons to compete against lots of other amateur journalists, collaborating with colleagues during overnights for the school paper, etc. It was exhausting but I loved it. It was such a high. Of course it came to the point (in my final high school year) when writing was done for — contests, school paper and school events all finally done. Everyone became busy with the final class requirements, applying to as much colleges possible and planning for what’s after  high school. I was one of them.

One day, my friends and teachers found out that I was planning to take up Accountancy in PUP. They were all taken aback. Nobody saw it coming. Everyone was asking me why and saying they thought I’d go for Journalism or Broadcast Communication at least. My love for writing and public speaking was that evident. I guess I never really told anyone the reason behind my choice but I didn’t think I owed anyone an explanation about my life choices (and they probably weren’t genuinely interested in what I have to say anyway in the first place). But why did I really not opt for the program I was so sure before, that I wanted? Why the sudden change of heart?

It happened during one of those busy days in senior year. I thought I already got everything figured out but then that epiphany came through. Hah. It’s still crazy to think that if that epiphany never occurred to me, I’d be in a completely different place in life right now. So what was it? What was the epiphany? If I’m going to be completely honest now, there were actually two realizations and not just one. I originally planned on telling only the first but that would be holding back something and not being entirely genuine (which would miss out on the point of this blog) so I guess I have to tell both or just don’t say anything at all. I’m going to drop both bombs now – the first realization was that I didn’t want to write because it’s my job. I was terrified that a writing program with deadlines and restrictions would eventually take away my passion and make me grow tired of writing. Expressing my self through words was something I always treasured, loved, and saw as my happy place so I didn’t want to risk the comfort of it to be taken away from me. I know a lot of people would disagree and say that I’m lucky to have found a passion that I could’ve pursued and that I really should have pursued after all but I do think otherwise. Also, here comes the second realization of why I didn’t opt for Journalism – I didn’t think I had enough skills in me. I found it hard to believe that I could actually live off of writing. Yes, cowardice took over me and I played safe. So… there’s that.

Being on my third year (almost fourth now) in Bachelor of Science in Accountancy in PUP, I can say I’m free of regrets though. I am able to sleep soundly at night with the choices I made in the past. I’m beyond thankful and blessed to be standing where I am today. 😊 BSA had given me a great load of experiences, lessons and I’ve met some of the most amazing people in my life because of it. I swear the mere thought of them gone will drive me to my insanity. BSA became home. Besides, my mother was so happy when I took this program as well (I knew she always wanted me to be a CPA) and hey, anything to make that woman happy, dude I am in (I didn’t really know what else to take anyway lol). ❤

It would be a lie to say that I don’t have what if’s. Of course a part of me will always wonder what would’ve happened if I opted for writing, but I’m happy where I am now and that’s really what matters to me. BSA is a whole different challenge that made me see abilities I never knew I had in the first place. I’m pretty darn proud of myself for conquering it for three years now y’know! I really do believe there’s a purpose why I ended up here but I’ll sure always be thankful I got to taste the world-apart flavors of the two. Not everyone’s lucky like that.

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